Sometimes, I think we all just want to vanish for awhile.
No worries, just, vanish.
Winter break is almost over, I won't lie and say that I won't enjoy going back.
School makes me feel alive, it keeps me going. I need it to survive.
It's just like in Sims where your Sim needs social interaction to survive.
Or it'll just go batshit crazy, and you'll have an unhappy Sim.
My life, this past two months have been somewhat like a rollercoaster ride.
I had moments where, I felt so alive, and so happy. I could breathe.
And obviously I had times where I felt nothing, I was empty, I was dead.
What am I right now? I am, I am. . .
I am healing, I am trying to survive, I am trying to get distracted.
Basically I'm trying not to curl up in fetal position and cry all day.
"Do you think you'll survive from this? Do you want to kill yourself?"
No, I don't want to kill myself, I want to keep living.
"It takes a lot of courage to be able to actually kill yourself."
I know, but I don't want to kill myself, I'm trying to live here.
". . . I can't guarantee life will be easy for you."
I know, it's okay, I didn't think it would be either.
"You know it's not too late to go back, you never even tried."
It's not a choice, if I had a choice, I wouldn't have made my life harder.
How do you take care of yourself? It seems so hard.
"You have to love yourself, before you can love anyone else."
Please time, please. Just hurry up and heal me.
Heal my wounds, because I don't can take this anymore.
I really can't.