Summer just officially started for me.
All my finals are done and over with.
All my notes, worksheets, anything school related.
Are going to get recycled and I'm done Grade 11.
To be honest, these are the days,
When I get depressed, how strange right?
It's summer, the days are long and sunny.
But oddly, I have nothing to do but to just sit at home.
Either just game all day long, eat, sleep, repeat.
It's a true fact that all human beings need social interaction,
Or we just go crazy and start making friends with random objects.
I'm one of those people, who whine and do nothing about it.
I whine about not having a relationship,
But I just sit at home all day and game.
How is that person suppose to find me?
When I'm in my little hell hole, sitting here.
Maybe I expect someone to just come knocking on my door.
I don't know why I'm socially awkward,
Incapable of making friends, it's such an easy thing to do.
But, I just hate it when I don't know anyone around me,
That's when I'll just listen to my iPod and try to sleep.
Sleep until time passes, hoping someone I know will show up.
I hate high fives, shaking hands, anything palm related.
When I get nervous, and that's about 95% of the time.
My hands sweat a lot, like a lot. It's not even funny.
So don't get offended if I don't accept you high fives,
Or I just say hi when you wanted to shake hands.
I'm not outgoing, but I try to be.
I want to live life, but I'm holding back.
I'm holding myself back, from living.
All my insecurities, I never want them to be touched.
All the things I've hid, all the things I've been trying to hide.
I don't want anyone to know, I can't trust anyone.
But the funny thing is, another side of me,
Wants someone to figure me out,
Wants someone to make all my insecurities go away,
Wants someone to learn all my secrets,
Wants someone to make me not lonely anymore.
Saying that I'm not the same as I used to be,
Is not completely untrue.
I don't know, I don't know,
I want to find myself now.