So if you haven't noticed yet you'll see some of the my blog in Japanese! I've been getting into weaboo mode these couple of days, must been from Angel Beats! Other than that, I've download songs from Girls Dead Monster, which is the diversion band that distracts NPCs when SSM does missions. The songs are good for an anime! But I've been hooked onto one song lately which is the background music for my blog, ねえー「Mimu」. The last one was also another cover done by her, honestly I like her the best out of all of the nico singers. Obviously I started listening to [Mimu] when Nina made that layout for Umi, although I find *tear* annoying. Sorry!
Onto another note. . .
Well lets go back to the past, not too long ago, it was a couple of months back then, is when I lost one my of friends.
We were close, we knew each other for almost three years. Most of you who read my blog obviously knew what happened between me and her, if you don't, you shouldn't be reading this blog. But, if you really want to know what happened from my perspective I'll explain. So she falls for some person that doesn't even knows her existence, harsh as it may sound it felt like that. Obviously I played no part in her plot to get that person, there is to blame on my part too. Her plan was going no where, so then Nina gave her an idea, which was to give him cookies.
Cookies, yes cookies.
I actually met Nina and Sora through her, but back to the story. She baked him cookies and gave them to him as a present. He rejected. I didn't know how to react to that part, this is the part where I am to blame for, I laughed. Which seems like a jackass move, we all know that. I didn't realize that she actually liked the person, but wrong move it was. She started crying, and where do girls cry the most you ask? The washroom. So, as her best friend I went inside the FEMALE washroom to go to comfort, it didn't go so very well. I thought everything was fine, everything was back to normal, she's gotten over that person.
Wrong.
I'm tired of speaking of that person like that, lets give that person a name. We will call that person, Fei Zhu you can go look up for the translation if you want, it's really not important. So, I wake up next morning and do my regular things, as I walk to the bus stop where me and her usually meet, to bus together. She was not there, and I thought, maybe she's sick or her mom dropped her off.
Wrong.
Me and her had only one class together on the first semester, which was fine we got to see each other during class change and lunch time, our lockers were near each other. Then people told me that she was mad at me, for the obvious reason. I simply told them it was not my fault, and that she should be the one getting over Fei Zhu. We did not speak for over a week, which was a record breaker actually from back then. So I finally mustered enough courage to apologize to her, we were in class and it didn't start yet, so I went and sat next to her and gave her a hug, which is a big step for me, I hate hugs. I told her how sorry I was, for everything, for laughing at her when she was at her weakest point. I expected her to say something.
She didn't.
I quickly retreated, tears started flowing down my face, I quickly tried to hold it back, tried to seem weak, my shell must not be broken for everyone to see. Then days of not talking turned into weeks, then months, then we just drifted apart. Obviously she found friends and so did I, but we both had that lingering feeling, to be friends again. Honestly I missed her baking, her jokes, the way she would share her lunch with me then call me a fatty, the way that she seemed quiet to everyone but I could tell them that she was actually talkative. She opened to me, and so did I in return, I could tell what she wanted, what she was running away from, how she felt.
Everything.
That's how our fairytale ended, we simply just stopped being the main character in each other's lives.
Dear トレイシー,
How are you? Are you eating right? Are you getting along with your family? I miss how your the first person I see everyday, and how that I'm never alone in school because your there. Do you miss me as much as I miss you? Because if you don't I'll sound like a loser when your reading this, if you ever will read this. I miss how you bring those kimchi noodle bowls just for me because you know I like them. Also how you bake those apple turnovers and give more than half to me.
I'm sorry.
For everything that I did to hurt you, and how selfish I acted back then. Hope your alright, hope your okay, hope you remember what kind of friendship we had back then, I hope you really remember.
