.friday | may 28th. on Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Credits: panduka56 @devianart
I'm getting over the person, not even sure if I was fully into the person. After sitting one hour at McDonalds with two of my friends and just basically talking about our problems and stuff, it was the best talk I ever had. Nina and Sora were right, the person isn't what I deserve. My other friends noted that too, every single one that I told said I could do better. But truly I don't know if I can. I don't think I'm good looking, I think I'm hideous, if I had wishes I would wish a lot of things about my look. My self-esteem is low, I don't know what or how that happened I guess it has always been this low. I can't set standards for myself because, I think I'm crap. I look like crap, I feel like crap. I think I'm the lucky one if I date someone, that I lucked out because I got that person, because I feel like trash.
After talking to my friends and how their circle of friends are so complicated, I'm so glad that I have Nina and Sora. They seem so complicated free when it comes to friendship with them. Sure they have their drama and stuff, but we can always decide where we want to go, and we never just split up into our own little group. I feel lucky that I have them, don't know if that feeling is mutual. Nina and Sora have treated me to so many things; clothes, food, love. But I haven't repaid, give back. Truthfully, I can't. I have no money, my parents won't give me any, I've been looking for a job, and no results in my endeavorers. I feel so like a leech, and unwanted pest. Even though my life doesn't consist of drama I feel like its not complete, there is a void. I hope they don't leave me.